That late afternoon silent moon gently crawled
Across the vast blueish vault
Without the fainted stars, without smoothing clouds.
You bit my chest; I licked your wound.
We were sleepless, attempting to scoop
A piece of the world, a world full of poison.
Yet we insisted, drunkenly devoured.
Sugar melted caramel burning,
Ginger tea brewing with your nervousness;
We teased and ranted, talked about butter & bread.
Your words tittering, my mind danced.
Caress as much as it could be.
That late summer night walked
Empty Bernard to the Jewish town
We thought we knew each other
But maybe we were both clueless,
Perhaps I was the unicorn
and you are somehow simply lorn.
Now that it’s all bygone I couldn’t
Burn all down
I keep dancing in this world alone,
Because we were all alone.
All the future and dream
All that delicacy on which we lean,
I am dancing in this world alone,
Because we are all alone.
We are all alone.
It’s not going to be everlasting, maybe,
But I set on to let it happen
Till one day my smile were gone though I still feel it wortheverything.
Get me still,
Get me distilled, millions of seconds passed but
That space time frozen like arctic glass.
I never imagined it getting rough,
We might make love
Which was what you think of
But now it’s all bygone,
I keep dancing in this world alone;
We are all alone.
Susanna told me that scar tissue has no character.
They don’t age.
I heard organs don’t feel pain, mostly.
That’s how some people swallow objects;
Blade does not exist if you don’t feel the cut.
But what about the heartache?
May be a nocebo
That exists only in fMRI scan.
Not paid by the insurance plan.
But stanza after stanza
Engraves the adversity
Onto the monument of our existence,
That is, our body,
As we move on.
Scar tissue has no character,
It made us a character.
And pain does not age.
The empty space you left permeates,
Infectious, hollows mind.
A world vast and warmthless
I’m still breathing with corrupted lungs,
Chocked by the ashes that fall
As the winter comes.
The lover that went wrong,
My name forgotten, blurry and gone.
I was the reckless, the only youth (between us)
Falling for that youthful dream that drowned in your leaden truth.
I knew you were bleeding (before all this),
But you are the lucky one.
Because the dying is the one that you think went wrong.
I am the one naïve youth that you will soon forget,
Left in the far field
With the blade still deep
Bury under the skin.
Missing the hand that
Once hold the grip.
I’m still missing.
After Daughter, Elena Tonra “Youth”
“Wait, they don’t love you like I love you”
– Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Maps, from Fever to Tell
“And we were lovers. Now we can’t be friends”
– Crystal Castles, Not in Love, from Crystal Castles (II)
‘’And in the night’’
With a drunken man lying down stairs
Conversation flied through the twigs as if there were only us
And she hooked me onto this thing called romance
In front of her friends’ house, used to.
I was dreaming,
It was sweet.
The voice so bright the moon lights between the lips
I felt the warmth of blood through my vein
Drifting off to love.
I promised myself that I would never lose her
My timid desire for a delicate she,
I’m scarred with fragile affection,
I thought of that sometimes.
Romance is now dead and done.
And it cut into my rib cage deep and sound
The breath of baby dead silent
And it cut into me between flesh and soul.
‘’I could begin to open up and risk desire
For I move slower and
Quieter than most’’
I’ve gone too deep too soon I still forget too slow
I wish it wasn’t that way but at least it’s you.
Touch me here
Dance to me
‘’I don’t care
If’’ it repeated
I want to be where you are
For all that I desired humble as it can be but last a bit further
Than that of a cut flower
So when I look at the stuff there still you are not gone
Flesh and soul
Deep and sound
*Recomposed from Ex:Re – Romance by Elena Tonra
Love will fix it,
However I can’t fix love.
All that I lost, I missed, and all that I’m missing.
But she is there, right on time.
In the stream of unlimited moments she is out there awaiting me to bump into.
What if I can’t see all her beauty,
What if it’s always not enough?
Any thing stimulates me; everything is about you.
Thirty-three autumns that past,
Last words of the three thousand years old sacred tree,
World that has yet to come,
The tiny notes that remind me of the existence of a you.
(This work was partly done last October)
Your shade leaves that agitates my heart,
As though moonlight vanishes in that thin morning mist,
Into silence, you depart driftingly.
I sit up into a pitch of dark torment,
Forgot the length of time, weakened corps aches as if the deaf hears the cry,
A self floating.
Vast, void, antithesis of eternity,
Fear now sleeps in me, surrendered to night terror with my incapacity.
What an atrocity.
Yet you assert this is reality, as I
Inhale the emptiness that permeate the uninhabitation.
You left; “morning has been blackening.”
Robin egg blue
Wintery lentil soup
Your voice in our tiny kitchen
Ash tree seeds
The irresistible moisture of your wee lips
I miss you,
And all those miscellaneous reminiscences,
My memory a daze, bygone is a future once might be reality.